Not Trainable
I went to the MLK Jr. Breakfast. I even got there on time. In bad weather. On my day off.
Bad Sign Number 1: Upon registering, I was told that adults should sit in the seats with red napkins, kids in the seats with the green ones.
Bad Sign Number 2: There were piles of different colored strings of yarn in the middle of each table.
Bad Sign Number 3: In the program of events, I saw the words "icebreaker activity" and "diversity activity."
I needed coffee immediately.
Let's just say I'm a pretty good sport.
I did the "icebreaker activity."
I politely listened to prayers and speakers.
I did the "diversity activity."
I sang "We Shall Overcome." While holding hands with the people at my table.
I will never go again.
But as a side note, sitting at my table was a group of African American girls with their chaperone. Since we are not exactly an "ethnically diverse" community (rough estimate: 99.9999% white), I just assumed they were from one of the neighboring cities.
Luckily I assumed quietly, because they were all from one of the area's most exclusive and expensive private boarding schools. Whoopsie.
Who needs diversity training anyway?
Bad Sign Number 1: Upon registering, I was told that adults should sit in the seats with red napkins, kids in the seats with the green ones.
Bad Sign Number 2: There were piles of different colored strings of yarn in the middle of each table.
Bad Sign Number 3: In the program of events, I saw the words "icebreaker activity" and "diversity activity."
I needed coffee immediately.
Let's just say I'm a pretty good sport.
I did the "icebreaker activity."
I politely listened to prayers and speakers.
I did the "diversity activity."
I sang "We Shall Overcome." While holding hands with the people at my table.
I will never go again.
But as a side note, sitting at my table was a group of African American girls with their chaperone. Since we are not exactly an "ethnically diverse" community (rough estimate: 99.9999% white), I just assumed they were from one of the neighboring cities.
Luckily I assumed quietly, because they were all from one of the area's most exclusive and expensive private boarding schools. Whoopsie.
Who needs diversity training anyway?
posted by Bemisdown at 7:44 AM
6 Comments:
I had to go to a day-long meeting just before Christmas.
It was just one big team-building exercise...there were games and quizzes and icebreakers and use of big corporate words that mean nothing.
Solution:
I spent 90% of the day furtively text-messaging on my cell phone. Do I win the prize yet for hatred-of-meetings?
p.s.
Do I want to know what you had to do with the yarn??
Cake,
You really DON'T want to know what was done with the yarn...suffice it to say I now have a snappy new colorful necklace.
I must admit you did a pretty good job with your "meeting hating activity."
But I don't have a cell phone and didn't have time to pick up a magazine, which is my standard "meeting hating activity."
(I also pass notes and sigh in frustration a lot). So I guess it's still a draw...
At one big meeting last fall, I made 35+ paper cranes (the only origami I know unless you count paper planes) and floated them in the water pitchers. People at the adjacent tables were even passing me paper and snickering.
Now I definitely win!
When an old company of mine was purchased by another larger company, there were orientation meetings that reinforced all the bad hippie-esque things that you have heard about California-based companies. Things we were required to do:
- Group hug (this is in the office. most refused)
- Perform motion that represents the definition of a word made up by the CEO: Laser-cution, as in execution with the precision of a laser. We were told we could do this instead of the group hug.
- Create a graph of our happiness throughout our life. y-axis = happiness. x-axis = time from birth to present.
- Listen to people discuss their graphs. Some dude got up and started talking about how his mother had cancer seven years ago.
- Watch a video of MLK's "I have a dream" speech...immediately followed by a video of the CEO talking about his dream, and then rattling off a bunch of numbers that he wants the company to attain.
The fun part of these meetings was that the black out period on our stock options expired the day after the meetings ended. I sold my shares then I quit immediately.
cake,
Tough to beat the origami in the water pitchers...
I've got my work cut out for me here.
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