Missing Mike

For about 18 years I worked with a guy named Mike. And then he retired. Now I don't like my job anymore.

Mike is my American Idol.

He looks like Bill Parcels, and sorta acts like him too.

He was the Head Football Coach at my school.

He's a "guy's guy."

He taught History classes.

He always said exactly what was on his mind to his colleagues, his bosses, newspaper reporters, parents...he pissed a lot of people off during his career because he has a no-nonsense regard for honesty.

And he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about him.

I miss Mike.

Remember the stereotypical "Teacher Who Just Wants to Coach But Doesn't Know What He's Doing In The Classroom" from your high school days? Stupid people were quick to place Mike in that category. Not that HE gave a shit, but I know better.

Mike is one of the most astute historians I have ever known. I watched him in action on more occasions than I can count. No need for bells and whistles. He'd just walk into a classroom, sit down, fold his arms and start talking.

Whatever the subject, he just KNEW it. Names, dates, themes....I'm reasonably smart, but to listen to this guy unravel the convoluted and incestuous lineage of Queen Victoria or present an overview of every Tsar of Russia (dates of reigns included) from the top of head was frankly amazing. He's the historian's equivalent of RAINMAN-only normal. And he mesmorized us with his stories.

I miss Mike.

But he's now become a sort of legand in our Hallowed Halls for other reasons:

1. The time he killed a dog. (GREAT story and totally Mike. The dog was attacking his athletes while they were running. Mike asked the owner to please restrain his dog while the kids were running. The owner was niether polite nor accomodating. So the next time the dog attacked them, Mike and his assistant coach killed the dog, brought it to the owner's door and said "I asked you once to restrain your dog. You refused. So go ahead and slap me on the wrist with an animal abuse charge.")

I miss Mike.

2. Fight in the Cafeteria at school. Mike tries to get the boys to stop swinging at eachother with no luck. So he took one of them and sat on him. The kid said "Coach, you're embarrasing me."

I miss Mike.

3. Me, as Department Head, strolling into his homeroom and noticing a couple of girls wearing "quesionable attire" and saying (obviously sarcastically) "Mr. C... I believe you might have some fashion violations here. I think some action is in order." And he holds his Boston Globe up in front of his face and says "I don't see a thing." (Me then whispering in his ear 'Come on...just peek...')

I miss Mike.

4. Discipline Techniques? Very basic. He walked into a classroom and every kid was scared.

I miss Mike.

He's not dead or anything-I just don't see him as much anymore. And I have TONS of more Mike stories...

But he's really a softie and privately took care of kids in need in his own home without ever mentioning a word about it. It's not his style because he doesn't care what people think about him.

Wouldn't you miss this guy?