God and Science and Crap
Ok. Enough of this retarded debate between Creationists/ Intelligent Design folks and Evolutionists.
We ALL know who's right-if there were some formal debate between the two teams and there was a million dollar trip around the world new house new car "meet your favorite celebrity" state of the art washer and dryer for the winners, I'd sure be sitting with the science geeks.
Here's the shocker-Evolution is not some huge SCIENTIFIC controversy-it's just that some deep thinkers wearing vestaments decided they wanted to wear lab coats too. And that's just a fashion clash.
The way I see it, if there's a God and a Heaven, I'm defintely getting in. AND I'll be sitting in First Class on my way there. But I don't want to hang around for eternity playing a harp. I expect a REAL Heaven with:
Chocolate Cream Pie
Cheesecakes
Sandy Beaches
Heated Swimming Pools
Lots of Cool Clothes That I Look Really Hot In
Lots of Hot Guys Who Appreciate How Hot I Look In My Cool Clothes
Accessories
Lobsters...
I'm picturing a sort of "Virgin Islands" Heaven. And NO WAY would God make me actually work. Jobs? In Heaven? A billion years until retirement? We're talking HEAVEN here...the Angels Union would be all over His case.
And if the science geeks are right (which they are) then I guess we're all in the same boat.
I'll try to contact Jon Edwards (not the one who's running for president-the other one, who hears messages from the afterlife and tells people stuff like "Your grandmother really didn't mean to call you a useless waste of oxygen that night in the kitchen when you came home at 3 A.M. in January 2001 totally trashed with a guy who had tatooes on his face.").
Promise to let you know how it goes. But meanwhile, I sure would like that washer and dryer. Are you listening God? Or do you need a (Scientifically Invented) earpiece?
We ALL know who's right-if there were some formal debate between the two teams and there was a million dollar trip around the world new house new car "meet your favorite celebrity" state of the art washer and dryer for the winners, I'd sure be sitting with the science geeks.
Here's the shocker-Evolution is not some huge SCIENTIFIC controversy-it's just that some deep thinkers wearing vestaments decided they wanted to wear lab coats too. And that's just a fashion clash.
The way I see it, if there's a God and a Heaven, I'm defintely getting in. AND I'll be sitting in First Class on my way there. But I don't want to hang around for eternity playing a harp. I expect a REAL Heaven with:
Chocolate Cream Pie
Cheesecakes
Sandy Beaches
Heated Swimming Pools
Lots of Cool Clothes That I Look Really Hot In
Lots of Hot Guys Who Appreciate How Hot I Look In My Cool Clothes
Accessories
Lobsters...
I'm picturing a sort of "Virgin Islands" Heaven. And NO WAY would God make me actually work. Jobs? In Heaven? A billion years until retirement? We're talking HEAVEN here...the Angels Union would be all over His case.
And if the science geeks are right (which they are) then I guess we're all in the same boat.
I'll try to contact Jon Edwards (not the one who's running for president-the other one, who hears messages from the afterlife and tells people stuff like "Your grandmother really didn't mean to call you a useless waste of oxygen that night in the kitchen when you came home at 3 A.M. in January 2001 totally trashed with a guy who had tatooes on his face.").
Promise to let you know how it goes. But meanwhile, I sure would like that washer and dryer. Are you listening God? Or do you need a (Scientifically Invented) earpiece?
posted by Bemisdown at 5:37 PM
6 Comments:
This one goldfish says to another goldfish:
"If there's no god, who changes the water in the bowl every day?"
What..does GOD.. need with a bunson burner?
--Captain Kirk,
Star Trek V
Hope nobody told my Sunday School teacher on me.
Anunomess,
I like harp music too....but not for an ETERNITY. A couple of hours maybe....
I'm pretty sure I'm headed the other direction...and I mostly blame IANO's blog. I was practically an angel before that.
::polishes halo frantically::
Nope, just can't get that tarnish off now...
Cake,
He has that effect on everyone.
I wish someone had warned me.
I'm gonna sue!
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