Anyone Seen My Reading Glasses?
There are many many things you should not do if you are, like me, unable to read a preschool ABC book where the letters are size 50 font and accompanied with pictures without your reading glasses.
Screw the "Fine Print..." I can't see the "Crappy Big Print" without four eyes.
I misplaced my reading glasses today, but I had one minor task to do-review and vote on a contract that will determine my livelihood for the next three years.
Now for those of you non-union folks, contracts are full of "language" and "numbers" that are confusing all on their own. It doesn't help to be Stevie Wonder when you're trying to figure them out.
And our negotiating team didn't make it easy for us-instead of just giving us the tentative contract in advance so at least someone could READ it to me, they had us gather all together like it was some kind of Broadway Premiere before they "unvieled" the Mysterious Contract.
Well, I had shit to do, and frankly, the only thing anyone really cares about is:
Did We Get a Raise?
How Much?
Is it Retroactive?
So I got sick of waiting around, found one of the negotiators (with the assistance of my Guide Dog) and said
"I gotta go. Can you show me the numbers?"
He did, but without my glasses, I saw a chart of blended black ink. I think.
NEGOTIATOR: "And here's what you'll be making after the second year."
ME: (Squinting...manages to make out a blur.) "Ok-I can't see this. What's the percentage?"
So he told me, I said thanks, voted, (I think) and left.
Can't wait to SEE what I actually voted for (or against....the ballot was a little fuzzy). Good thing I wasn't buying a car today.
Screw the "Fine Print..." I can't see the "Crappy Big Print" without four eyes.
I misplaced my reading glasses today, but I had one minor task to do-review and vote on a contract that will determine my livelihood for the next three years.
Now for those of you non-union folks, contracts are full of "language" and "numbers" that are confusing all on their own. It doesn't help to be Stevie Wonder when you're trying to figure them out.
And our negotiating team didn't make it easy for us-instead of just giving us the tentative contract in advance so at least someone could READ it to me, they had us gather all together like it was some kind of Broadway Premiere before they "unvieled" the Mysterious Contract.
Well, I had shit to do, and frankly, the only thing anyone really cares about is:
Did We Get a Raise?
How Much?
Is it Retroactive?
So I got sick of waiting around, found one of the negotiators (with the assistance of my Guide Dog) and said
"I gotta go. Can you show me the numbers?"
He did, but without my glasses, I saw a chart of blended black ink. I think.
NEGOTIATOR: "And here's what you'll be making after the second year."
ME: (Squinting...manages to make out a blur.) "Ok-I can't see this. What's the percentage?"
So he told me, I said thanks, voted, (I think) and left.
Can't wait to SEE what I actually voted for (or against....the ballot was a little fuzzy). Good thing I wasn't buying a car today.
posted by Bemisdown at 3:47 PM
6 Comments:
Where's Howie Mandel when you need him?
Does Howie have bifocals?
I have to take my glasses off (or contacts out) to read...and sometimes I don't put them somewhere obvious. And then I have to wander around blind, trying to remember where I put them.
It's especially fun if I fall asleep reading on the couch and wake up in the middle of the night. Pets get their tails stepped on...toes get stubbed...curses get shouted...
Good times!
You voted for third term for Bush.
::highfives::
And apparently the shock of having voted for Bush has put Bemis into some sort of coma...quick! Someone call 911!
911 was a horrible day when millions died....thanks for ruining our Christmas by bringing it up.
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