PIES AND IPODS
Driving around with kids is simply not fun. When they're babies, they sleep (sometimes) but after that it's mostly a nightmare:
Toddler Phase: Fuss, cry, pull over, change a diaper, pray.
Preschool Phase: Sing "Down By The Bay" 600 times, listen to endless made-up knock-knock jokes:
KID: Knock-Knock
YOU: Who's There?
KID: Adam
YOU: Adam Who?
KID: Adam just peed his pants!!!! (Kid cracks up and repeats same joke several dozen times)
SO entertaining, especially during long trips, that you start searching your purse for something to slip into their juiceboxes.
In Between Phase: "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Preteen/Teenage Phase: Fight, change radio stations, fight some more....
So today, we had about a 40 minute drive to oldest daughter's track meet. After about a half hour of listening to oldest daughter's now memorized "I hate track I have cramps I don't wanna go" monologue and numerous vile rap songs on the radio, I said:
"Hey, there's a diner on the way that has the best pie you've ever tasted. How about we get some on the way home?"
Youngest: "I don't really like pie.
Oldest: "Me neither."
Me: "Oh trust me, you'll like this pie."
The idea sorta intrigued them though, because they know I'm not much of pie person myself.
But I'm not talking about your standard issue pie here-this place must order its pies directly from heaven. If Einstein were a baker, he would've worked at this diner making pies. They have the Gold Standard of all pies, the Pulitzer Prize Winner of pies, pies civilizations have fought wars over....
So on the way home, we stopped at the diner and they each got a huge piece of pie to go. Banana Cream. (I, of course, did not get a piece because one cannot safely drive at night while blind AND while eating the world's most amazing pie.)
Before we left the parking lot, they both tasted their banana cream pie.
Youngest: "OH MY GOD!"
Oldest: "This is FREAKISHLY good!"
Me: "Told ya. Hey-don't you guys have your IPODS in your backpacks?"
Need I say more? No radio, no fighting....just a couple of happy pie eating kids listening quietly to their IPODS.
No parenting advice needed here, thank-you.
Toddler Phase: Fuss, cry, pull over, change a diaper, pray.
Preschool Phase: Sing "Down By The Bay" 600 times, listen to endless made-up knock-knock jokes:
KID: Knock-Knock
YOU: Who's There?
KID: Adam
YOU: Adam Who?
KID: Adam just peed his pants!!!! (Kid cracks up and repeats same joke several dozen times)
SO entertaining, especially during long trips, that you start searching your purse for something to slip into their juiceboxes.
In Between Phase: "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Preteen/Teenage Phase: Fight, change radio stations, fight some more....
So today, we had about a 40 minute drive to oldest daughter's track meet. After about a half hour of listening to oldest daughter's now memorized "I hate track I have cramps I don't wanna go" monologue and numerous vile rap songs on the radio, I said:
"Hey, there's a diner on the way that has the best pie you've ever tasted. How about we get some on the way home?"
Youngest: "I don't really like pie.
Oldest: "Me neither."
Me: "Oh trust me, you'll like this pie."
The idea sorta intrigued them though, because they know I'm not much of pie person myself.
But I'm not talking about your standard issue pie here-this place must order its pies directly from heaven. If Einstein were a baker, he would've worked at this diner making pies. They have the Gold Standard of all pies, the Pulitzer Prize Winner of pies, pies civilizations have fought wars over....
So on the way home, we stopped at the diner and they each got a huge piece of pie to go. Banana Cream. (I, of course, did not get a piece because one cannot safely drive at night while blind AND while eating the world's most amazing pie.)
Before we left the parking lot, they both tasted their banana cream pie.
Youngest: "OH MY GOD!"
Oldest: "This is FREAKISHLY good!"
Me: "Told ya. Hey-don't you guys have your IPODS in your backpacks?"
Need I say more? No radio, no fighting....just a couple of happy pie eating kids listening quietly to their IPODS.
No parenting advice needed here, thank-you.
posted by Bemisdown at 6:01 PM
10 Comments:
"Knock Knock!"
"Who's There?"
"Cousin Steve."
"Cousin Steve who?"
"Cousin Steve pooped in his pants!"
I think Clinky is obsessed with Cousin Steve pooping his pants. But let's not dwell on THAT disturbing idea...
So, according to Bemis, the secret to parenting is music and pie? You should write a book...I sense a bestseller.
Oh and think of how funny it'd be if you ended up on Oprah! You could tell her all about IANO...::giggles::
(And now I want pie. Wah!)
Cake,
I think I channeled Clinky with the "Knock-Knock" joke....although I stuck with "peed his pants," I think all of this "pooping his pants" talk is starting to influence me....this is not good.
Yes indeed...music and pie. It's taken me years, but I'm pretty sure music and pie is the answer. And I'd love nothing more than to introduce Oprah to IANO....
And Clinky,
You'd fit right in on a roadtrip with my girls......
Jack Bauer said he could get me one of those new iPod Phones...
Dammit woman don't tease us! Where is this magical pie located?
Nice pie.
Bacon Ace:
Well, how about that...you have a proper log-in name now. And it only took you a year. Ha!
bacon ace,
At a diner. In a remote corner of the world.
That's all I'm allowed to tell.
Clinky,
Tell Jack he has 24 hours.
No iPod, no roadtrip.
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