Baby It's Cold Outside
I work with a woman who was telling us today about her experience spending two weeks at base camp on Mt. Everest.
So I asked her a very simple question: "Why did you do that?"
I don't even like starting my car in the morning during the winter.
Yet she puposefully went to one of the coldest places on the planet and, just to make sure she was acceptably uncomfortable, climbed to about 14,000 feet where simple amenities, such as oxygen, are not available and hung out for a while. Not exactly MY idea of a vacation. (But she was a "Hell Hole Traveler"-defined as someone who felt the need to spend years visiting every miserable place on earth she could get to. I have another colleague who decided to pack up and teach for two years in MONGOLIA...What's WRONG with these people? Haven't they heard of warm sandy beaches with hammocks and drinks with umbrellas in them???)
Anyway, I'm digressing here. I simply wanted to register exactly how much I hate winter. Winter has no reason to exist. I'm opposed to everything it stands for. If winter were to run against Dick Cheney in the next election, well, I'd put on a very bright orange vest and vote against winter.
A few weeks ago I was really excited about Global Warming or El Nino or whatever it was that gave us 60 degree weekends. So what if polar icecaps were melting-it just means our kids will all have oceanfront property someday. It was beautiful-I don't care what Al Gore says. HE can just take a trip to the Bahamas-I'm stuck here.
But then stupid winter showed up. Again. Cold, miserable, ugly, evil winter.
I'm counting on the Democrats to do something about this nasty problem. And if they can't fix this seasonal issue then at the very least they should give me a two week all taxpayer expense paid trip to Tahiti.
Because I'm a good American, and I hate winter more than anyone else.
So I asked her a very simple question: "Why did you do that?"
I don't even like starting my car in the morning during the winter.
Yet she puposefully went to one of the coldest places on the planet and, just to make sure she was acceptably uncomfortable, climbed to about 14,000 feet where simple amenities, such as oxygen, are not available and hung out for a while. Not exactly MY idea of a vacation. (But she was a "Hell Hole Traveler"-defined as someone who felt the need to spend years visiting every miserable place on earth she could get to. I have another colleague who decided to pack up and teach for two years in MONGOLIA...What's WRONG with these people? Haven't they heard of warm sandy beaches with hammocks and drinks with umbrellas in them???)
Anyway, I'm digressing here. I simply wanted to register exactly how much I hate winter. Winter has no reason to exist. I'm opposed to everything it stands for. If winter were to run against Dick Cheney in the next election, well, I'd put on a very bright orange vest and vote against winter.
A few weeks ago I was really excited about Global Warming or El Nino or whatever it was that gave us 60 degree weekends. So what if polar icecaps were melting-it just means our kids will all have oceanfront property someday. It was beautiful-I don't care what Al Gore says. HE can just take a trip to the Bahamas-I'm stuck here.
But then stupid winter showed up. Again. Cold, miserable, ugly, evil winter.
I'm counting on the Democrats to do something about this nasty problem. And if they can't fix this seasonal issue then at the very least they should give me a two week all taxpayer expense paid trip to Tahiti.
Because I'm a good American, and I hate winter more than anyone else.
posted by Bemisdown at 2:48 PM
11 Comments:
My uncle was a Zamboni driver in Buffalo. He used to bemoan the fact that he could only ply his icy trade in places where ice skating was more than just a freakish curiosity. "Why O Why can I not have the kind of job that I could do anywhere in the country, so I could live somewhere warm like Jacksonville, Florida or Austin Texas?"
Furple on Slurple!
-Winter kills bugs.
-Winter provides a reason for you to tell your daughters to wear more clothes.
-Winter grants you an entire season where it is entirely acceptable to bitch and moan
That is just three things for you to like about winter.
"My uncle was a Zamboni driver in Buffalo." is my favorite sentence ever.
My bed was so warm this morning...soooo verrrry waaarm...
::shivers::
But at least it's sunny!
Stuckwith...
I completely agree.
We once interviewed a guy for a job JUST because he had on his resume that he ws once a Zamboni driver...
cake & boston graf.....
You're both so Cup Half Full...
I'm with gaz....I wanna be bored.
::peers sadly into empty cup::
I wish it was half full.....
cake,
I'd share, but my cup's a half empty block of ice.
anunomess,
I totally agree. But this lady's about as prim, proper, and WASPY as they make em...yet she once had a job singing Keryoke at a brothel in Tiawan to make traveling money. Go figure.
And the Mongolian traveling teacher? She's now in Antartica.
No thanks. Pass me the sunblock.
And by the way Clinky,
"Furple on Slurple?"
You've been to oxygen deprived areas recently too....just admit it.
I was going to comment on the "furple on slurple" thing...but sometimes stuff has a way of going over my head and I was afraid this was one of those times.
Apparently not. Phew.
(Or at least it's gone over yours, too, so I have company....)
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