POP QUIZ!
Good Luck! And keep your eyes on your own paper!
1. Who's the LEAST attractive?
A. Tori Spelling.
B. Sarah Jessica Parker.
C. The Fat Lady in the movie "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?."
D. Larry King.
E. All of the Above.
F. All of the Above Except C Because We Don't Know Her Name.
2. Why is Pluto No Longer a Planet?
A. It Forget to Pay its Annual Planetary Membership Fee.
B. It was Harboring Terrorists and Weapons of Mass Destruction.
C. It Didn't Have a Cool Name, Like Uranus.
D. Because Planet Earth is Full of Dorks.
E. Because Disney Had a Trademark on its Name and Was Threatening a Lawsuit.
3. How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
A. A Lot.
B. A Little.
C. Just Enough to Get You Through a Mild Winter.
D. How the Hell Am I Supposed To Know? Ask a Woodchuck Dentist.
4. Why Do People Dislike The Current United States President So Much?
A. Because He's Dumb.
B. Because He's Retarded.
C. Because He's An Idiot.
D. Because He's A Moron.
E. We All Know What "E" is. Except Our President.
5. Who's Creepiest?
A. Michael Jackson.
B. O.J. Simpson.
C. All of Those Pedophiles They Snag on "Dateline."
D. The Jerky Kid I Once had in Class Who Used His Digital Camera To Take Pictures Up Girls Skirts.
E. The Jerky Kid's Father.
F. E Only.
6. Why do people LIKE Sarah Jessica Parker So Much?
A. I Don't Know.
B. Beats Me.
C. Can't Figure That One Out.
D. THAT'S a Mystery!
E. People Actually LIKE Sarah Jessica Parker?
7. Why CAN'T Iran Have Nuclear Weapons?
A. Because It Didn't Finish All of Its Dinner.
B. Because It Brought Home a Bad Report Card.
C. Because It Ignored Its Curfew Last Saturday Night.
D. Because It Might Actually Use Them.
E. Because.
8. What's so "Special" About the Special Olympics?
A. They serve Juice Boxes.
B. Everyone Gets a Medal.
C. There Aren't Really Any Athletes There.
D. The Medal Contenders All Get To Ride to the Event on Really Neat Short busses.
E. A & C Only.
9. What's Better?
A. Legally Prescribed Medications.
B. Illegally Acquired Medications.
C. $7.00 Bottles of Wine.
D. All Three Mixed Together During a Weekend at George Clooney's Villa in Italy.
E. Duh. D Only.
10. If You Had to Choose One of the Following, Who Should Be the Next President of The United States?
A. Me.
B. Charles Manson.
C. Me.
D. Son of Sam
E. Me.
F. Again, Duh. A,C, & E Only.
1. Who's the LEAST attractive?
A. Tori Spelling.
B. Sarah Jessica Parker.
C. The Fat Lady in the movie "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?."
D. Larry King.
E. All of the Above.
F. All of the Above Except C Because We Don't Know Her Name.
2. Why is Pluto No Longer a Planet?
A. It Forget to Pay its Annual Planetary Membership Fee.
B. It was Harboring Terrorists and Weapons of Mass Destruction.
C. It Didn't Have a Cool Name, Like Uranus.
D. Because Planet Earth is Full of Dorks.
E. Because Disney Had a Trademark on its Name and Was Threatening a Lawsuit.
3. How Much Wood Could A Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
A. A Lot.
B. A Little.
C. Just Enough to Get You Through a Mild Winter.
D. How the Hell Am I Supposed To Know? Ask a Woodchuck Dentist.
4. Why Do People Dislike The Current United States President So Much?
A. Because He's Dumb.
B. Because He's Retarded.
C. Because He's An Idiot.
D. Because He's A Moron.
E. We All Know What "E" is. Except Our President.
5. Who's Creepiest?
A. Michael Jackson.
B. O.J. Simpson.
C. All of Those Pedophiles They Snag on "Dateline."
D. The Jerky Kid I Once had in Class Who Used His Digital Camera To Take Pictures Up Girls Skirts.
E. The Jerky Kid's Father.
F. E Only.
6. Why do people LIKE Sarah Jessica Parker So Much?
A. I Don't Know.
B. Beats Me.
C. Can't Figure That One Out.
D. THAT'S a Mystery!
E. People Actually LIKE Sarah Jessica Parker?
7. Why CAN'T Iran Have Nuclear Weapons?
A. Because It Didn't Finish All of Its Dinner.
B. Because It Brought Home a Bad Report Card.
C. Because It Ignored Its Curfew Last Saturday Night.
D. Because It Might Actually Use Them.
E. Because.
8. What's so "Special" About the Special Olympics?
A. They serve Juice Boxes.
B. Everyone Gets a Medal.
C. There Aren't Really Any Athletes There.
D. The Medal Contenders All Get To Ride to the Event on Really Neat Short busses.
E. A & C Only.
9. What's Better?
A. Legally Prescribed Medications.
B. Illegally Acquired Medications.
C. $7.00 Bottles of Wine.
D. All Three Mixed Together During a Weekend at George Clooney's Villa in Italy.
E. Duh. D Only.
10. If You Had to Choose One of the Following, Who Should Be the Next President of The United States?
A. Me.
B. Charles Manson.
C. Me.
D. Son of Sam
E. Me.
F. Again, Duh. A,C, & E Only.
posted by Bemisdown at 12:53 PM
33 Comments:
hello hello hello hello.....echo echo echo echo....
I'm gonna start to talk to myself again.
And where's Sparkle????
Ok...
Here I go AGAIN!!!! It's like talking to my family!!!!
Gee B-Down-it must be REALLY tough to write those Multiple Choice Questions...
Cake? Anunuomess? Sparkle?? T...??? HELP!!!
I'm Drowning in a Sea of "Who The Hell is She?
I feel like SpongeBob when he landed in Rock Bottom (You need kids to understand the reference......)
OK. That's it. I'm retiring.
Hey, where did you go? I went holiday shopping but they were out of Santa in a bubble...
I'm here!!! I'm heeeeere!!! ::waves frantically::
1. Eww. Clearly B.
2. B. (obviously!)
3. C. (I giggled at that one)
4. B (even though he's not mine, shhh)
5. C (yuck)
6. C (double-yuck)
7. C. (hee)
8. D (I wanna ride a short bus!)(It means what?? Oh, never mind...)
9. E (mmm)
10. F (as long as that means me-me and not me-Bemisdown)
Cake,
I'm not supposed to CORRECT this quiz.....Or am I?
WHAT? I was expecting a grade! And maybe a gold star!
::sulks::
Motheragawd,
I'll need a doctor's note.
That's it, I'm cutting this class from now on.
Who wants to go out back and smoke with me? Miss B-Down won't notice we're gone if we just leave this nice picture of Denzel on her desk...
(Oh, and I have a flask!)
A smoke...well, ok, but first I want to know why you have a picture of my Denzel?
Alright cake,
I'll grade. And Smiley Face Stickers to the winner.
But I've got this George/Denzel dream I have to complete...I PROMISE to get to your assignment immediatly when I'm done.
But I'm quick-and at first glance you look like a "Super Job Smiley Face Sticker" to me.
I'm terribly sorry, it was only the one time...we were drinking...he thought I was you...you know how it is.
I swear it'll never happen again.
(But I'm not giving up the picture!)
Attendance call....
cake......
cake......
Does anyone know where cake is?
::empty desk::
And T-
Denzel is halfway mine.
Cake, you do realize that tomorrow is buddy night and you have a lot of explaining to do...
BD - I thought that we agreed you and Cake would take George and I would have Denzel. Time to stop dreaming about my guy...
OK T....
Buddy Night....You're KILLING me!!!!
I'll get there..and you know it!
And Denzel...we just have to share.
T-
OOPS. Sorry. You wanted CAKE at Buddy Night (I won't whisper a word that you really want ME AND cake at Buddy Night...shhhhh...you didn't hear ANYTHING from me)
T:
Sorry? I missed some of that...Denzel was giving me a back r...I mean, err, I was, ummm, doing something. ::clears throat nervously::
Buddy Night! Damnit. I have to get there again...have a drink (or three) for me tomorrow night, please?
Bemisdown:
I'm just a little north of you...get Clooney to come pick me up in his jet and we'll crash Buddy Night!
yeah, be an Angelina!
"L.A. Story"
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Buddy Night is not a right.
Buddy Night is a gathereing of The Three.
To make it a foursome or fivesome an intitation must first take place...
I don't require an invitation. Already got an OPEN one from one of the 3.
So there.
Anunomess,
I think Clinky's been eating some of those rum soaked butterflies.
Bemisdown:
He said initiation. I think it was meant to sound ominous...but coming from IAintNoOprah and DangerBear, I'm not that scared. They're not exactly intimidating.
Bring on the initiation!
Anunomess,
Heard that about Danny and George. Pretty dam funny! Does anyone actually WATCH The View?
I would have CRASHED Buddy Night tonight but had to go to PARENT's Night instead. Whoopie!!!! Fun Times!!!
Did a great big Faux Paux followed by a lucky save...mentioned to one mother about how awful it must be for her daughter Melissa because she's been on crutches for so long. Mother gave me a funny look (SHIT B-DOWN!) and said "Melissa's not on crutches." (THINK QUICK!!!). "Oh, I must be confusing her with Meagan." And Mother said "Yeah, they hang out so much together I almost mix them up too" (WHEW!!! :wipes sweat from forehead:) I had no idea they hung out together-in fact, I'm pretty sure I completely forgot who her daughter WAS. Think it's time to learn my students names???
Otherwise all was smooth sailing, except the constant reminder of how LONG I've been at that place. One "mother" came to visit me with her 16 year old daughter and said "Hey Miss B-Down!!! Remember me? You were my favorite teacher!!!!" Whaaaa. (But she's from one of those Gypsy families we have around here-probably had her kid when she was 15. Right? Please?)
Oh...Lest I forget...
"Jen" stopped by to say hi tonight-said she just KNEW I wanted to see her because she's "telapathetic."
(Turns out I had HER older sister in class years ago, who's now a mother with three kids. Whaaaaa!)
Anunomess,
I'm SURE you're somebody's favorite something.
You just need to use your telapathetic gifts to figure out who that special someone is.
Anunomess,
And I really DO appreciate the compliments (that's what I get from my job in lieu of a living wage).
One mom said to me tonight that this was her last parents night, reminded me that I had all of her children in my classes over the years and thanked me for all I had done for them and said there are some teachers who really stand out and kids remember. So sweet.
Until she told me that her oldest is now finishing up her PHD...Whaaaaa!!!!!
A few years back, I tried to find my favourite high school teacher and thank him...he'd retired and moved to Scotland.
I think that pretty much says it all...
Cake,
There are Favorite (ummm....sorry...)
Favourite High School Teachers Retirement Homes in Scotland? Holy Nelly!! Humus and kilts and kilts and humus.....and golf too?
I'm packing my bags right now!
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