And The Retard Of The Day Award Goes To
JEN! (Real Name: Jen-but she's too retarded to find her way here).
Jen is one of my students, and she likes to enter my classroom daily in full dramatic mode and launch into a diatribe about whatever crisis she happens to be experiencing at the moment. And it always involves WAY too much information.
We don't laugh with her...we laugh AT her.
Today, we endured the following:
JEN: (rushing into class late and all flustered): "OH MY GOD!!! I've got a urinary tract infection!!!!"
ME: "Thanks for sharing Jen. But you're late. Where's your pass?"
JEN: "I don't have one!! But Really!!! Now I'm gonna have to go the doctor and he'll have to stick his hand up my privates!!! And I KNOW I'm gonna end up with some kidney disease...does anyone have a kidney they want to donate to me???"
ME: "Deep healing breath Jen. You're not going to end up with a kidney disease. Where's your pass again?"
JEN: "I didn't get one one!!! I was at the nurse's office..Call her! And Oh My God-What if I get Cobblestones???"
Swear to God.
Jen is one of my students, and she likes to enter my classroom daily in full dramatic mode and launch into a diatribe about whatever crisis she happens to be experiencing at the moment. And it always involves WAY too much information.
We don't laugh with her...we laugh AT her.
Today, we endured the following:
JEN: (rushing into class late and all flustered): "OH MY GOD!!! I've got a urinary tract infection!!!!"
ME: "Thanks for sharing Jen. But you're late. Where's your pass?"
JEN: "I don't have one!! But Really!!! Now I'm gonna have to go the doctor and he'll have to stick his hand up my privates!!! And I KNOW I'm gonna end up with some kidney disease...does anyone have a kidney they want to donate to me???"
ME: "Deep healing breath Jen. You're not going to end up with a kidney disease. Where's your pass again?"
JEN: "I didn't get one one!!! I was at the nurse's office..Call her! And Oh My God-What if I get Cobblestones???"
Swear to God.
posted by Bemisdown at 2:06 PM
11 Comments:
"Jen?....The doctor is here to see you..."
JUST DON'T TOUCH MY BOOBS!!!!!
It's not her fault, really. Her curse is being named Jen - (Jennifer). I have never met a Jennifer I liked, honestly and I've tried to be open-minded, but in every case it is a proven.
They don't work well in teams/groups and they love drama/attention.
And people pick on poor "Heathers". I'll take a Heather over a Jen, anyday.
So there, take that all you Jennifers!
(This is really therapeutic, thanks!)
But wouldn't you feel a little bit sorry for her if she ended up having "Cobblestones?"
And by the way "just say no to jen,"
I know exactly who you are.
And you MUST know Jen, because you just described her perfectly. I'm scared now.
Jen's are all the same - unoriginal.
Describe one, and you've described them all!!!
I've known a lot of Jen's.
No need to tremble.
(This really is therapeutic, thanks again!)
However, don't be too harsh to judge her fears since I wouldn't be too surprised if a doctor stuck his/her hands up Jen's private parts and found cobblestones.
Can you treat cobblestones with antibiotics? Or do you need to call in a road crew??
Beware the Cobbler!
Maybe an anti-Jen campaign wouldn't be a bad idea.
Today we all got to hear how great her butt is and how she should be an underwear model.
I guess her cobblestones must be cured.
Was her butt firm and yet strangely lumpy? Cuz that's a SURE sign of cobblestones. She might not be out of the woods quite yet...
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