Luke, Laura and Other Soapy Dramas
Some of you may remember this storyline from the soap General Hospital. (Hop into your "FlashBack Machine" and program it for, say, 1981)
Laura, young with blonde hair, a confused innocent look on her face and perpetually quivering lips, worked at the "Disco" in Port Charles. (duh...you know..the city where General Hospital is?)
Anyway, the "Disco" was owned by an outsider tough guy named Luke. Luke developed an obsession with Laura (or was it love?) and behaved towards her in a manner that today would have sent Laura directly to the Port Charles courthouse for a restraining order.
So during one episode Luke decided "screw this" (literally) and after the "Disco" closed, he raped her (or did he?). And as most courtships go, the "rape" (or was it?) blossomed into a deep and unwavering love between Luke and Laura (I actually remember Laura saying in one episode "I'm drowning in a sea of confusion." How can you forget such poignant words?) and culminated in their wedding, which was watched by a zillion people.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the other day I was watching a talk show and Luke and Laura were on it. Since I haven't actually SEEN the show in over 20 years, I've missed a few things in the plotline. But apparently this is the latest:
Laura was in a coma (Vacation Time!!!!).
Luke got remarried.
Laura came out of her coma.
Luke dumps current wife and now he and Laura are getting married...again.
What do the producers think? That we're gonna get all nostalgic and watch them get married AGAIN?
Nope. I gave up soaps a LONG time ago after watching another soap opera and waiting an entire summer for some character to get rescued from a well while her evil twin sister took over her life.
From June to September:
Lance: (to Evil Twin Sister April he thinks is his wife but who really tossed his wife down a well) "Sabrina, you just aren't yourself lately. Is there anything wrong?"
April-Evil Twin Sister Posing as Sabrina: (thinking quickly on her Evil Twin Sister feet): "No Lance. You're right. I haven't been myself lately... because I'm carrying your child. Our love child!"
Lance: (gathering her in his arms) "Oh Sabrina! You've just made me the happiest man in the world!"
And they embrace, as April stares into the camera with that Evil Twin Sister look in her eyes.
Me: (to the television) "Sabrina's stuck in a well Lance, you fucking idiot!!! And April's not pregnant!!! Just wait for the 'miscarriage,' you jerk!!!"
Ummm. Excuse me. Got a little carried away there.
Anyway, I'm done with soaps-who needs that kind of stress in their lives?
Laura, young with blonde hair, a confused innocent look on her face and perpetually quivering lips, worked at the "Disco" in Port Charles. (duh...you know..the city where General Hospital is?)
Anyway, the "Disco" was owned by an outsider tough guy named Luke. Luke developed an obsession with Laura (or was it love?) and behaved towards her in a manner that today would have sent Laura directly to the Port Charles courthouse for a restraining order.
So during one episode Luke decided "screw this" (literally) and after the "Disco" closed, he raped her (or did he?). And as most courtships go, the "rape" (or was it?) blossomed into a deep and unwavering love between Luke and Laura (I actually remember Laura saying in one episode "I'm drowning in a sea of confusion." How can you forget such poignant words?) and culminated in their wedding, which was watched by a zillion people.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the other day I was watching a talk show and Luke and Laura were on it. Since I haven't actually SEEN the show in over 20 years, I've missed a few things in the plotline. But apparently this is the latest:
Laura was in a coma (Vacation Time!!!!).
Luke got remarried.
Laura came out of her coma.
Luke dumps current wife and now he and Laura are getting married...again.
What do the producers think? That we're gonna get all nostalgic and watch them get married AGAIN?
Nope. I gave up soaps a LONG time ago after watching another soap opera and waiting an entire summer for some character to get rescued from a well while her evil twin sister took over her life.
From June to September:
Lance: (to Evil Twin Sister April he thinks is his wife but who really tossed his wife down a well) "Sabrina, you just aren't yourself lately. Is there anything wrong?"
April-Evil Twin Sister Posing as Sabrina: (thinking quickly on her Evil Twin Sister feet): "No Lance. You're right. I haven't been myself lately... because I'm carrying your child. Our love child!"
Lance: (gathering her in his arms) "Oh Sabrina! You've just made me the happiest man in the world!"
And they embrace, as April stares into the camera with that Evil Twin Sister look in her eyes.
Me: (to the television) "Sabrina's stuck in a well Lance, you fucking idiot!!! And April's not pregnant!!! Just wait for the 'miscarriage,' you jerk!!!"
Ummm. Excuse me. Got a little carried away there.
Anyway, I'm done with soaps-who needs that kind of stress in their lives?
posted by Bemisdown at 5:22 PM
5 Comments:
Oh, that Luke! I guess this is before he found out Darth Vader was his father? What did Leia think; I bet she was really jealous of Laura. You know, since she was all hot and bothered for Luke herself and didn't know he was her twin brother and all.
What?
Oh.
Umm....never mind.
Damn you Stephano!
Motheragawd,
I think Lance and Sabrina live there now.
Well, at least last time I watched after April got into that tragic Zamboni accident and confessed on her deathbed...
Cake,
I think you might be watching the Scientology Soaps
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