My Newest Newest Brilliant Idea
Ok. THIS plan is foolproof.
Since celebrities seem to be on an African Adoption Mission lately, I've decided to go to some destitute African country (just pick one-they're all miserable places), find an orphanage, look all cute and poor and wait until some really rich celebrity shows up and is so moved by my cuteness and poorness that they adopt me (maybe I'll try eating a bowl full of that white stuff with my hands when the celebrities arrive...who can resist an orphan eating something that looks like paste?)
I mean, technically I AM an orphan, and Brad and Angelina haven't adopted anyone in at least a week, so they're about ready.
And then I'll go "home" with my new family on a private jet and I'll get:
A Nanny: I really don't NEED a nanny, but I'll take one if it comes with the package. Maybe she can just do my laundry or something.
A Personal Chef: "Will Filet Mignon be acceptable for dinner tonight Miss?" (Of course, since I'd be rich now I'd also have to become Anorexic. "Just a salad please Chef Boyardee.")
Maids
A Bunch of Cool Houses
Designer Clothes
Trips Around the World
And, of course, a REALLY cute picture of me with my new family on the cover of People Magazine
If I had my preference, I'd like to be adopted by George Clooney. But we orphans can't be too picky.
Since celebrities seem to be on an African Adoption Mission lately, I've decided to go to some destitute African country (just pick one-they're all miserable places), find an orphanage, look all cute and poor and wait until some really rich celebrity shows up and is so moved by my cuteness and poorness that they adopt me (maybe I'll try eating a bowl full of that white stuff with my hands when the celebrities arrive...who can resist an orphan eating something that looks like paste?)
I mean, technically I AM an orphan, and Brad and Angelina haven't adopted anyone in at least a week, so they're about ready.
And then I'll go "home" with my new family on a private jet and I'll get:
A Nanny: I really don't NEED a nanny, but I'll take one if it comes with the package. Maybe she can just do my laundry or something.
A Personal Chef: "Will Filet Mignon be acceptable for dinner tonight Miss?" (Of course, since I'd be rich now I'd also have to become Anorexic. "Just a salad please Chef Boyardee.")
Maids
A Bunch of Cool Houses
Designer Clothes
Trips Around the World
And, of course, a REALLY cute picture of me with my new family on the cover of People Magazine
If I had my preference, I'd like to be adopted by George Clooney. But we orphans can't be too picky.
posted by Bemisdown at 1:49 PM
7 Comments:
I have a plan.
You and I pose as starving twin orphans...cuz the only thing sadder than one orphan, is two orphans.
No, wait! Even better! Conjoined twin orphans! Oh, it's perfect...
(Yes, I know...hell in a handbasket.)
Cake & Anunomess,
It might be a little tough to duct tape our heads together, but we'd certainly manage to look pretty pathetic.
GEORGE CLOONEY would go to Hell in a Handbasket if he ignored our plight and didn't adopt us immediately.
I've got my English to Italian (oops...I mean Dinka to Italian) translation book out already!
Maybe you can get adopted by Alec Baldwin.
Thanks Motheragawd...
Not crazy about the song either, but proud that she did it in two half hour studio sessions and all of the background voices are hers too so it was authentic..not bad for a 14 year old.
Scooter's voice instructor keeps telling her that SHE'S the one who's gonna make him rich....and I keep reminding him that she's gonna make ME rich first.
Right now she's lazy and has discovered boys....so I needed a back-up plan. But she knows she's good so I still have hope.
And by the way, I do a pretty good rendition of "Happy Birthday To You.."
I was just wondering the same thing...
Damn! So I wasn't adopted??
This sucks.
Sorry.
George and I were just putting the final touches on my adoption papers.
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