That's So Scary.....
Remember the good old days when you would pile into someone's van that had a shag rug on the floor (seats were optional) and posters hanging in spots where there should have been windows and you would be SO psyched because you were going to a CONCERT?
Maybe Alice Cooper, Lynyrd Skynyrd (Fucking FREEBIRD!!!-Any questions about 70's Rock trivia should be directed to Anunomess-but "FreeBird' may still be screamed at ANY concert), Pink Floyd-whatever you had tickets to. (Ok-maybe I'm dating myself here, but I'm not dating anyone else so why not? Besides, no matter HOW old you are, you've seen at least ONE episode of "That 70"s Show").
Anyway, the van would reek of pot, someone would throw up before the show even started, and you could always count on the band being MORE fucked-up than anyone in the audience. As Archie Bunker once sang..."Those Were the Days."
Well YIPPEE!!! I get to go to a concert again tomorrow! But this concert will not include cool vans or pot. Nope. Instead it will involve pre-concert comments like "Does anyone need to go to the bathroom before we leave? Does everyone have their seatbelts on?" I'm taking my daughters to see Raven. Anyone have a razor blade I can borrow? I have two to wrists to slit.
Raven, by the way, is the star of the world's MOST obnoxious Disney TV show called "That's So Raven." When she was small and cute, she was on the Cosby Show-then she grew up to be a fat, talent-free, hyperenergetic Disney superstar with her very own show that I would frankly rather eat an entire vat of beets than watch. But my kids love her. And guess what???? She's doing a concert (she pretend sings too-one of her many non-talents) close enough to home that I couldn't think up a decent excuse NOT to take them. That's So SUPER!!!!
I've already got the stupid theme song of her stupid show stuck in my stupid head-right now. Personally, I'd prefer to be Schizophrenic and hear voices telling me that the CIA, FBI, and (the now dismantled) KGB were chasing me than hear "That's So Raven" playing in my brain like a CD that keeps skipping back to the same track. And the concert's not even until TOMORROW. At 6 PM! The only consolation I can come up with is the fact that my kids are at least too old for Barney.
Oh well. Maybe I'll squeeze the "throw-up" part into this whole concert experience. Just like the Good Old Days.
But if you hear on the news about some deranged mother being dragged out of a Raven concert screaming "Fucking FREEBIRD!!!" you'll know. That would be me.
Maybe Alice Cooper, Lynyrd Skynyrd (Fucking FREEBIRD!!!-Any questions about 70's Rock trivia should be directed to Anunomess-but "FreeBird' may still be screamed at ANY concert), Pink Floyd-whatever you had tickets to. (Ok-maybe I'm dating myself here, but I'm not dating anyone else so why not? Besides, no matter HOW old you are, you've seen at least ONE episode of "That 70"s Show").
Anyway, the van would reek of pot, someone would throw up before the show even started, and you could always count on the band being MORE fucked-up than anyone in the audience. As Archie Bunker once sang..."Those Were the Days."
Well YIPPEE!!! I get to go to a concert again tomorrow! But this concert will not include cool vans or pot. Nope. Instead it will involve pre-concert comments like "Does anyone need to go to the bathroom before we leave? Does everyone have their seatbelts on?" I'm taking my daughters to see Raven. Anyone have a razor blade I can borrow? I have two to wrists to slit.
Raven, by the way, is the star of the world's MOST obnoxious Disney TV show called "That's So Raven." When she was small and cute, she was on the Cosby Show-then she grew up to be a fat, talent-free, hyperenergetic Disney superstar with her very own show that I would frankly rather eat an entire vat of beets than watch. But my kids love her. And guess what???? She's doing a concert (she pretend sings too-one of her many non-talents) close enough to home that I couldn't think up a decent excuse NOT to take them. That's So SUPER!!!!
I've already got the stupid theme song of her stupid show stuck in my stupid head-right now. Personally, I'd prefer to be Schizophrenic and hear voices telling me that the CIA, FBI, and (the now dismantled) KGB were chasing me than hear "That's So Raven" playing in my brain like a CD that keeps skipping back to the same track. And the concert's not even until TOMORROW. At 6 PM! The only consolation I can come up with is the fact that my kids are at least too old for Barney.
Oh well. Maybe I'll squeeze the "throw-up" part into this whole concert experience. Just like the Good Old Days.
But if you hear on the news about some deranged mother being dragged out of a Raven concert screaming "Fucking FREEBIRD!!!" you'll know. That would be me.
posted by Bemisdown at 2:08 PM
4 Comments:
Anunomess,
OK...I screwed up the bands. But you know WAY too much about them!
And if you think I'm going to leave with my hearing intact then you haven't heard Raven. Or my daughters.
And lighters are now substitued with cellphones, by the way. And THAT'S a FACT!
Should I bother to fix my post?
Shit. The OCD is kicking in. You better have the spelling right at least Anunomess.
Nooprah's right-you HAVE to have your own blog!
Heh, heh. Have fun tomorrow, Bemisdown...in the immortal words of somebody or other:
Better you than me!
And if we pester Anunomess enough, will she start a blog or just get cranky? Cuz I don't wanna make her cranky...but I think she oughta start a blog.
Cake,
If she gets cranky, we can just say "Wanna Treat?"
And she'll go straight to the puppy meds and all will be well again.
I want some puppy meds. Care to share Anunomess? I mean, I'm going to a concert for God's sake!
Anunomess,
She, along with god knows how many other screaming 9-14 year old girl from every county in the state.
Sounds scarier than a Stephen King novel to me.
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