QUIT STARING AT ME!

Ok. It's bad enough that I'm a mouse stuck in an aquarium, which, by the way, are made for FISH.

But why does this STUPID dog insist on staring at me 24/7?

I admit, I've got a brain the size of a Cocoa Crispie, but even I deserve a little privacy. And I'm programmed to be scared of CATS-there are FIVE of those feline felons roaming around this house but they could give a shit less about me. It's the damn DOG that's got me worried.

Ever heard of HARRASSMENT Fido?

I can't bathe, dress, or talk on the phone without that creature staring at me. Morning noon and night. I can't get rid of him.

I avoid my exercise wheel. I've piled my shavings as high as possible so the dog can't see me. I don't attend social events. Nothing works. I'm thinking of going into a Witness Protection Program.


How would YOU like to wake up every morning and see THIS staring at you

I know his mother thinks he has endearing blue eyes, but I think they're Devil eyes. They give me nightmares.

Don't you have a car to chase, a frizbee to catch, or an ass to lick or something?

Before I call a contractor to build a stonewall in front of my "aquarium" home, I'm filing for a restraining order. Maybe THAT will wake you up and scare you back to Dogland to rummage through other peoples' trash and bark at inanimate objects. THAT'S where you belong.

Get over me. I'm a MOUSE for Christ Sake! We're NOT meant to be, and people are starting to talk.

So just go away. Bury a bone. Hang around the kitchen table waiting for someone to drop something. Do anything. Just QUIT staring at me!!!!!