Hurray Middle School!!!!!
My youngest daughter started her first day of Middle School today, and she was scared shitless.
More scared than those journalists who are kidnapped by crazed Muslims in the Middle East, more frightened than a stray cat who was picked up by a drunk Animal Control Officer and accidentally placed in the dog pound....you get my point.
There are several reasons to be terrified by Middle School:
1. Lockers. Elementary schools do not typically have lockers, and kids starting Middle School cite the whole locker experience as one of their biggest fears. Don't ask. I never understood.
2. Changing Classes: Gone are the days of a one teacher classroom-Middle School kids have to actually MOVE AROUND and have different teachers for different subjects. Most would rather crawl back inside the womb where its relatively safe, as long as their mothers would just lay off the heroin for a few months.
3. Older Kids: What if I get lost and end up in the 8th grade wing, with really scary looking 4'3" "gangsta" boys wearing pants that hang down to their knees (Note to Parents of Middle School Boys: if they're going to wear their fathers' pants to school, it's only fitting that their fathers wear their sons' pants to work. New Invention: BELTS) and gaggles of gum snapping "Just look at me the wrong way and I'll eat you alive" girls.
But my daughter, who is just about the sweetest kid on the planet, had a GREAT day.
And you want to know why? The Cafeteria.
Now, those of you who've read previous posts understand that my family has a peculiar interest in food. The way we talk, you'd think we'd all need cranes to haul us out of bed everyday, but in reality, none of us is in any way overweight (OK-I could use a few days at the gym, but it's not like people stare at me and I can still sit comfortably in your standard issue auditorium seat).
It must be in the genes-I blame my father, who was in no way overweight but would've tossed a goat into his spaghetti sauce and let it simmer for hours if he thought it might taste good.
And my daughter is certainly "a member of the family."
ME: So...How was your first day at Middle School?
YOUNGEST: GREAT! You wouldn't believe what they have for lunch! REAL pizza, a choice of sandwiches, and potato tots that are awesome!"
ME: And how were your classes?
YOUNGEST: Really good. But mom, they have a salad bar the size of this whole room in the cafeteria, and they have icecream and chips in the vending machines...
ME: Are your teachers nice?
YOUNGEST: REALLY nice. And guess what? We're going to be able to have Slushies soon!
Now, I'm no Julia Childs, but to be so outmatched by Middle School cafeteria ladies? And what the hell were they feeding her in Elementary School? EELS and crackers?
Oh well. She liked "locker break" too, so I guess she'll do just fine.
Anyone have a cookbook they could suggest?
More scared than those journalists who are kidnapped by crazed Muslims in the Middle East, more frightened than a stray cat who was picked up by a drunk Animal Control Officer and accidentally placed in the dog pound....you get my point.
There are several reasons to be terrified by Middle School:
1. Lockers. Elementary schools do not typically have lockers, and kids starting Middle School cite the whole locker experience as one of their biggest fears. Don't ask. I never understood.
2. Changing Classes: Gone are the days of a one teacher classroom-Middle School kids have to actually MOVE AROUND and have different teachers for different subjects. Most would rather crawl back inside the womb where its relatively safe, as long as their mothers would just lay off the heroin for a few months.
3. Older Kids: What if I get lost and end up in the 8th grade wing, with really scary looking 4'3" "gangsta" boys wearing pants that hang down to their knees (Note to Parents of Middle School Boys: if they're going to wear their fathers' pants to school, it's only fitting that their fathers wear their sons' pants to work. New Invention: BELTS) and gaggles of gum snapping "Just look at me the wrong way and I'll eat you alive" girls.
But my daughter, who is just about the sweetest kid on the planet, had a GREAT day.
And you want to know why? The Cafeteria.
Now, those of you who've read previous posts understand that my family has a peculiar interest in food. The way we talk, you'd think we'd all need cranes to haul us out of bed everyday, but in reality, none of us is in any way overweight (OK-I could use a few days at the gym, but it's not like people stare at me and I can still sit comfortably in your standard issue auditorium seat).
It must be in the genes-I blame my father, who was in no way overweight but would've tossed a goat into his spaghetti sauce and let it simmer for hours if he thought it might taste good.
And my daughter is certainly "a member of the family."
ME: So...How was your first day at Middle School?
YOUNGEST: GREAT! You wouldn't believe what they have for lunch! REAL pizza, a choice of sandwiches, and potato tots that are awesome!"
ME: And how were your classes?
YOUNGEST: Really good. But mom, they have a salad bar the size of this whole room in the cafeteria, and they have icecream and chips in the vending machines...
ME: Are your teachers nice?
YOUNGEST: REALLY nice. And guess what? We're going to be able to have Slushies soon!
Now, I'm no Julia Childs, but to be so outmatched by Middle School cafeteria ladies? And what the hell were they feeding her in Elementary School? EELS and crackers?
Oh well. She liked "locker break" too, so I guess she'll do just fine.
Anyone have a cookbook they could suggest?
posted by Bemisdown at 4:21 PM
6 Comments:
My middle school didn't have a cafeteria, damnit.
But my high school did and oh SWEET GAWD do I remember the french fries.
I ate french fries and chocolate milk every day for months (back when I could eat french fries and chocolate milk every day for months and not gain a pound...oh the good ole days).
(I've left myself wide open for a fat thighs comment...oh well. Pass the fries?)
Middle school was actually Junior High for me, too, but I didn't want to look uncool by calling it by the wrong name. I don't want to get my butt tossed out of the blog club...or mess up the blog synergy...or something...
Middle School is Stupid.
Junior High School is cool.
And THAT is a Professional analysis.
Sharing a locker changed everything
Stuckwithacomb,
Don't I know THAT from experience!
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