Politics Are Stupid
The last politician I was in love with was Bill Clinton, In fact, I still love him-if he were within eyesight of me right now, I'd flash him the "thumb and index finger to ear" sign and whisper "Call Me." Sorry Hillary, but I have a feeling you could give a shit less.
But I'm no naive schoolgirl (just a naive school teacher). A politician is a politician. They try to be smooth and savvy, and spend tons of money on campaign ads that are so boring and canned that we thank God there's a "mute" button on our clickers. Can't one of these guys (and gals) have enough creativity to include, say, a talking duck, in their television pitches?
I don't care if you went to Harvard, balanced your checkbook successfully for 30 years, and found a cure for AIDS. I'm a hard working American citizen, and I deserve a political commercial that at least includes dancing bears. Is that too much to ask?
Here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts, we've got the following prominent politicians:
Governor Mitt "Guy Smiley" Romney. A perfect fit for this state as an enormously wealthy MilkToast Morman. Grab another wife or two Mitt-because you ain't gonna be the next President.
Lt. Governor "Something" Healy. She WANTS to be the next Governor of our fair state, but I can smell "bitch" a mile away. Her television ads make me want to wrap a rope around my neck.
Boston Mayor "Mumbles Menino." Has anyone REALLY understood a word he's said since he's been in office? Maybe that's the key to success in politics.
Senior Senator Ted "Splash" Kennedy. I actually like the guy, and think he's one of the best, hardest working Senators in the country. But there are some
past "incidents" you just can't file away. And could you do something about your ex-wife?
Junior Senator John Kerry. Thanks a bunch for the last election. Perhaps the Democrats might consider running someone without a Hapsburg chin and weird wife next time around?
Maybe I'll throw my hat in the ring, or my ring in the hat. Whatever. Noone would care what I actually stand for, but I'm certainly LOUD enough for the job. And I promise my television ads will include snakes on a plane.
But I'm no naive schoolgirl (just a naive school teacher). A politician is a politician. They try to be smooth and savvy, and spend tons of money on campaign ads that are so boring and canned that we thank God there's a "mute" button on our clickers. Can't one of these guys (and gals) have enough creativity to include, say, a talking duck, in their television pitches?
I don't care if you went to Harvard, balanced your checkbook successfully for 30 years, and found a cure for AIDS. I'm a hard working American citizen, and I deserve a political commercial that at least includes dancing bears. Is that too much to ask?
Here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts, we've got the following prominent politicians:
Governor Mitt "Guy Smiley" Romney. A perfect fit for this state as an enormously wealthy MilkToast Morman. Grab another wife or two Mitt-because you ain't gonna be the next President.
Lt. Governor "Something" Healy. She WANTS to be the next Governor of our fair state, but I can smell "bitch" a mile away. Her television ads make me want to wrap a rope around my neck.
Boston Mayor "Mumbles Menino." Has anyone REALLY understood a word he's said since he's been in office? Maybe that's the key to success in politics.
Senior Senator Ted "Splash" Kennedy. I actually like the guy, and think he's one of the best, hardest working Senators in the country. But there are some
past "incidents" you just can't file away. And could you do something about your ex-wife?
Junior Senator John Kerry. Thanks a bunch for the last election. Perhaps the Democrats might consider running someone without a Hapsburg chin and weird wife next time around?
Maybe I'll throw my hat in the ring, or my ring in the hat. Whatever. Noone would care what I actually stand for, but I'm certainly LOUD enough for the job. And I promise my television ads will include snakes on a plane.
posted by Bemisdown at 9:12 AM
7 Comments:
I enjoy teasing the Republicans in the crowd but, really, most politicians are scuzzy scum, anyways, no matter what their political leanings.
I mean, I could write a whole post on the politicans where I live...but your IQ would nosedive if I did, so I'll spare you.
The Mayor of Beamish Town!
Anunomess:
You're awfully sassy for a nun! Between you and Motheragawd, I'm getting a whole new view of the Church.
(Pssttt, pass the sacramental wine? Bemisdown and I have run dry...)
Listen to Cake Anunomess-sacramental wine required immediately.
And in terms of the grading letters, it was the idea of our Founding Fathers (they determined them around the same time they wrote the Constitution, and were extremely tired by then.)
A= Awesome
B= Better than a C
C= Cute, but you're a mediocre loser
D= Duh
E= Could sombody orderith some pizza, as Thou cannot standith anymore of this
F=Fucking Failure
Clinky,
I have no political aspirations whatsoever...
But....do Mayors Of Bemish Town get to be driven around in black cars and cut ribbons?
Just wondering.
I love the Mittster...but then again you knew that going in, didn't you?
noopraph,
Of course I did. You get an "E" for that observation
Post a Comment
<< Home