Hitler's Soft Side
Somewhere in London an auction house is taking bids on paintings created by the Great Artist Adolph Hitler (I'm suprised Mr. Nooprah wasn't on the first plane to Heathrow when he heard about this event!)
Before Hitler decided to accept a job as the Insane Dictator responsible for the deaths of over 30 million people (I think the ad ran in some small Bavarian newspaper: WANTED: Insane Dictator willing to oversee the destruction of all Jews and able to lead a large country of superior human specimens to world domination. Must have previous experience as an unbalanced racist. Company car, tanks, bombs, submarines and aircraft provided. Resume and references required), he wanted to be an artist.
Hitler's "artwork" suggests a heartfelt appreciation for the beautiful landscape he grew up around. I'm no art critic-thank god because they're all a little weird (my response to art is pretty much "I like it," or "I don't get it and don't try to have a disussion with me about it"), but I'm pretty sure that the folks at the Academy of Arts in Vienna back then would have rolled out the red carpet for Hitler the Artist if they had any clue what his alternative occupation would be. But they sent him a rejection letter instead.
So we didn't get Hitler the Artist, quietly painting his landscapes by day (he might have become a serial killer by night just to get by,but even Ted Bundy couldn't kill 30 MILLION people on a part time basis-second jobs are just like that-could you deliver 30 MILLION pizzas at night after a long day of work? )-we got Hitler the Homicidal Maniac Dictator with a stupid looking mustache Full Time. WWII, The Big One, could have been avoided by a single sheet of paper from the Academy in Vienna saying "Dear Mr. Hitler, we are pleased to accept you into our distinguished Art Program... (although some condoms in Mr. and Mrs. Hitler's house might have helped too).
Thanks Vienna!
Before Hitler decided to accept a job as the Insane Dictator responsible for the deaths of over 30 million people (I think the ad ran in some small Bavarian newspaper: WANTED: Insane Dictator willing to oversee the destruction of all Jews and able to lead a large country of superior human specimens to world domination. Must have previous experience as an unbalanced racist. Company car, tanks, bombs, submarines and aircraft provided. Resume and references required), he wanted to be an artist.
Hitler's "artwork" suggests a heartfelt appreciation for the beautiful landscape he grew up around. I'm no art critic-thank god because they're all a little weird (my response to art is pretty much "I like it," or "I don't get it and don't try to have a disussion with me about it"), but I'm pretty sure that the folks at the Academy of Arts in Vienna back then would have rolled out the red carpet for Hitler the Artist if they had any clue what his alternative occupation would be. But they sent him a rejection letter instead.
So we didn't get Hitler the Artist, quietly painting his landscapes by day (he might have become a serial killer by night just to get by,but even Ted Bundy couldn't kill 30 MILLION people on a part time basis-second jobs are just like that-could you deliver 30 MILLION pizzas at night after a long day of work? )-we got Hitler the Homicidal Maniac Dictator with a stupid looking mustache Full Time. WWII, The Big One, could have been avoided by a single sheet of paper from the Academy in Vienna saying "Dear Mr. Hitler, we are pleased to accept you into our distinguished Art Program... (although some condoms in Mr. and Mrs. Hitler's house might have helped too).
Thanks Vienna!
3 Comments:
I think they probably "disappeared."
I love that painting Hitler did of the Brillo Pad box.
Ummm...
Who wants to tell him?
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