I Stole This
This idea is not mine-it belongs to the 12 year old son of my friend Joanie (Real Name: Joanie).
Anyway, they are fans of the show "Survivor," and as we all know, there's a big fat ugly nasty controversy about the next season, where the producers decided to divide the teams into "Ethnic Groups." Advertisers think this idea is so wonderful that they're taking their cash and running away from the show faster than Simba ran from the stampede in "The Lion King."
But Joanie's son had an even CLASSIER idea. HE suggested the show should feature teams divided according to their handicaps:
Team 1: Parapalygics
Team 2: Blind People
Team 3: Deaf People
Team 4: Autistic Savants
I wasn't there for the actual conversation, and I've only watched "Survivor"
maybe twice, but I thought the idea was inspired, because eventually the teams would have to "merge."
Parapalygic: "My wheelchair is stuck in the fucking sand. Could I have some help please???"
Blind Person: "I'll help. Where are you?"
Deaf Person: "What did you say?"
Autistic Savant: " I can't help you, but I can tell you EXACTLY how many grains of sand you're stuck in."
Parapaylgic: "Nevermind. Just DON'T toss me in the water to find fish."
Blind Person: "What water?"
Yup. I'm defintely going to Hell now.
Anyway, they are fans of the show "Survivor," and as we all know, there's a big fat ugly nasty controversy about the next season, where the producers decided to divide the teams into "Ethnic Groups." Advertisers think this idea is so wonderful that they're taking their cash and running away from the show faster than Simba ran from the stampede in "The Lion King."
But Joanie's son had an even CLASSIER idea. HE suggested the show should feature teams divided according to their handicaps:
Team 1: Parapalygics
Team 2: Blind People
Team 3: Deaf People
Team 4: Autistic Savants
I wasn't there for the actual conversation, and I've only watched "Survivor"
maybe twice, but I thought the idea was inspired, because eventually the teams would have to "merge."
Parapalygic: "My wheelchair is stuck in the fucking sand. Could I have some help please???"
Blind Person: "I'll help. Where are you?"
Deaf Person: "What did you say?"
Autistic Savant: " I can't help you, but I can tell you EXACTLY how many grains of sand you're stuck in."
Parapaylgic: "Nevermind. Just DON'T toss me in the water to find fish."
Blind Person: "What water?"
Yup. I'm defintely going to Hell now.
posted by Bemisdown at 4:57 PM
5 Comments:
The exceptions are not only after "c" but when it sounds like a long "a"; "neighbor", "weigh"
The Jew team will win.
Clinky,
Now that's a rule that shouldn't even be a rule. It just doesn't make sense (it's like a rule that's an exeption to a rule with exceptions....)
And of course the Jew team will win-they're the Chosen Ones.
And DON'T correct my spelling...I'll get cranky.
"Downtown Hoagy Brown"
"Paraplegic"
::giggles and runs for cover::
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