1-800-HEAVEN
Today the Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez gave a slightly strongly worded address to the United Nations General Assembly referring to George W. as "The Devil." Several times. And he was waving around a book by Noam Chomsky, advising everyone to read it.
W. found himself in a rather awkward position after hearing this speech-why would ANYONE accuse such a God-Fearing and completely correct leader of the World's Greatest Country of being the Anti-Christ simply because he wants the entire planet to do exactly what he says they should do or else he'll send in troops? ? And why were so many people applauding?
So George did what he always does in times of crisis: he picked up his GodPhone and called 1-800-HEAVEN.
GEORGE W: " Hello, God? Some president from an insignificant country called Venezuela referred to me as "The Devil" today. In front of a packed audience of representatives from other lesser countries. I quit drinking, I read the Bible, with Laura's assistance, and I'm leading a great Crusade against people who don't agree with me. So what's going on here?"
GOD: I heard about that. Don't worry. I'll smite them all."
GEORGE W: "What's 'Smite' mean?"
GOD: "Don't worry about it. Smiting is my responsibity."
GEORGE W: "Thanks. I can barely use the words I DO know right. So are you going to spread Plague and Locusts and stuff all over Venezuela anytime soon?"
GOD: "Just let me deal with it George."
George W: "Ok. But they have oil."
GOD: "Oh yeah. I forgot. I guess you're a little screwed there."
GEORGE W: "And who's Noam Chomsky by the way?"
GOD: "George, I've got a couple of other things on my plate right now. Go to a library-or ask your wife, the Librarian."
GEORGE W: "Ok. As soon as I finish mastering "Goodnight Moon," I'll get right to it. But I'm not the Devil, right?"
GOD: " Goodnight George."
W. found himself in a rather awkward position after hearing this speech-why would ANYONE accuse such a God-Fearing and completely correct leader of the World's Greatest Country of being the Anti-Christ simply because he wants the entire planet to do exactly what he says they should do or else he'll send in troops? ? And why were so many people applauding?
So George did what he always does in times of crisis: he picked up his GodPhone and called 1-800-HEAVEN.
GEORGE W: " Hello, God? Some president from an insignificant country called Venezuela referred to me as "The Devil" today. In front of a packed audience of representatives from other lesser countries. I quit drinking, I read the Bible, with Laura's assistance, and I'm leading a great Crusade against people who don't agree with me. So what's going on here?"
GOD: I heard about that. Don't worry. I'll smite them all."
GEORGE W: "What's 'Smite' mean?"
GOD: "Don't worry about it. Smiting is my responsibity."
GEORGE W: "Thanks. I can barely use the words I DO know right. So are you going to spread Plague and Locusts and stuff all over Venezuela anytime soon?"
GOD: "Just let me deal with it George."
George W: "Ok. But they have oil."
GOD: "Oh yeah. I forgot. I guess you're a little screwed there."
GEORGE W: "And who's Noam Chomsky by the way?"
GOD: "George, I've got a couple of other things on my plate right now. Go to a library-or ask your wife, the Librarian."
GEORGE W: "Ok. As soon as I finish mastering "Goodnight Moon," I'll get right to it. But I'm not the Devil, right?"
GOD: " Goodnight George."
posted by Bemisdown at 6:59 PM
4 Comments:
If God loves America so much why did he give all our oil to people who hate us?
"The devil you know is better than the god you don't"
-George 'Goober' Lindsey
That's an excellent question Clinky. I'll bring it up at my Bible discussion group tonight.
Anunomess,
I don't think I have a whole lot of "influence" with the Creator....but I'll do my best.
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