Halloween Hell
I know it's early, but Halloween's already stressing me out.
When I was about to have my first child, my sister warned me that the two occasions I would hate the most would be birthdays and Halloween. Well, Miss "I Dare You To Try and Beat Me at Trivial Pursuit" was right.
But I hit the jackpot-I have a kid who was born right around Halloween! God must REALLY have it in for me.
I don't want to get into the birthday thing-all of her friends birthdays are clumped around the same time, and the parties all have "themes." My youngest actually asked me the other day "What do you think the theme for my birthday party should be this year?"
"Gee honey, let me consult with Andrew Lloyd Webber. I was considering a cake and icecream and presents sort of affair, but I'll get back to you."
And Halloween? I ALWAYS sucked at it. I don't like to dress up in costumes.
I have no patience helping my kids pick out their costumes. I never know how much candy to buy. And I HATE walking around my neighborhood for two hours in 40 degree weather with weary kids who are pissed that their carefully selected costumes are hidden underneath coats, hats, and mittens. All this for mini Snickers Bars?
Some people are really good at Halloween though. They blast spooky music from their houses and dress up as Demons or Witches and then give kids candy. Giving kids treats while you're scaring the shit out of them at the same time....sounds like the subject of a Dateline report to me.
But I admire people who know how to do Halloween costumes. Some of my favorites:
1. A certain couple of guys I know who were invited to a Halloween Party years ago and dressed up as the host of the party. Wicked funny.
2. Moberg, in the 80's, who found a "half melted face mask" (Moberg was always good with masks) and a burned lab coat with an ID pin saying "Chernobyl." Clever.
3. My sister Julie who, in her 20's, wore a "Charlie Brown" costume meant for an 8 year old. Stupid. And funny.
4. "Dress-Up Day" for the Senior Class at the school where I teach. A lot of creative stuff, but you can ALWAYS count on the girls who can, for one day of the year, wear something that violates the dress code (French Maids, Flappers...) and boys who dress in Drag.
I need to get with the program...costume suggestions anyone?
When I was about to have my first child, my sister warned me that the two occasions I would hate the most would be birthdays and Halloween. Well, Miss "I Dare You To Try and Beat Me at Trivial Pursuit" was right.
But I hit the jackpot-I have a kid who was born right around Halloween! God must REALLY have it in for me.
I don't want to get into the birthday thing-all of her friends birthdays are clumped around the same time, and the parties all have "themes." My youngest actually asked me the other day "What do you think the theme for my birthday party should be this year?"
"Gee honey, let me consult with Andrew Lloyd Webber. I was considering a cake and icecream and presents sort of affair, but I'll get back to you."
And Halloween? I ALWAYS sucked at it. I don't like to dress up in costumes.
I have no patience helping my kids pick out their costumes. I never know how much candy to buy. And I HATE walking around my neighborhood for two hours in 40 degree weather with weary kids who are pissed that their carefully selected costumes are hidden underneath coats, hats, and mittens. All this for mini Snickers Bars?
Some people are really good at Halloween though. They blast spooky music from their houses and dress up as Demons or Witches and then give kids candy. Giving kids treats while you're scaring the shit out of them at the same time....sounds like the subject of a Dateline report to me.
But I admire people who know how to do Halloween costumes. Some of my favorites:
1. A certain couple of guys I know who were invited to a Halloween Party years ago and dressed up as the host of the party. Wicked funny.
2. Moberg, in the 80's, who found a "half melted face mask" (Moberg was always good with masks) and a burned lab coat with an ID pin saying "Chernobyl." Clever.
3. My sister Julie who, in her 20's, wore a "Charlie Brown" costume meant for an 8 year old. Stupid. And funny.
4. "Dress-Up Day" for the Senior Class at the school where I teach. A lot of creative stuff, but you can ALWAYS count on the girls who can, for one day of the year, wear something that violates the dress code (French Maids, Flappers...) and boys who dress in Drag.
I need to get with the program...costume suggestions anyone?
posted by Bemisdown at 10:42 AM
4 Comments:
My favourite costume was two years ago, when Roger and I went to a big Halloween bash as a vampire and her victim.
I rented this gorgeous embroidered black dress from a local theatre troupe (for a grand $10)...it was long and slinky and had cleavage. I've never had so many guys try to pick me up in the course of an evening (clearly all necrophiliacs).
Roger rented an antique wedding dress with a train ($10!) and bloodied herself up (folks tried to pick her up, too...also clearly necrophiliacs). At the risk of seeming egotistical...we looked awesome.
Most years I just do the zombie thing to give candy out to the neighbourhood kids...cuz most of the time I'm lazy. (But I do admit to loving Halloween...sorry.)
Cake,
It's ok to love Halloween! LOTS of pople do! Maybe if for ONCE I had a really cool costume and a party to go to...
And Motheragawd,
I tried the "drop off in the affluent neighborgood" trick last year, but "velcro child" wouldn't let me leave...so I got to play overly cautious parent with a flashlight in someone else's neighborhood. Oh well. It's one night. And I DO have some funny Holloween memories trick or treating with my girls....
I try and tell myself it's all about the excuse to dress up and act like a kid...but folks will tell you I don't generally need that excuse so...
Truth is, it's all about the candy.
Candy, candycandycandycandycandy!
Anunomess...
It wasn't "Love Shack???"
You know more about this stuff than I do, but isn't "Love Shack" everyone's favorite B52's song?
I think I may embarasess myself here-I'm talking to the expert here. The B52's DID sing "Love Shack...." Or am I wrong?
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